Snail Mail--Nutrition at its finest

 
Dearest Mother, Father, 2 chubsters, and poochy,
Thanks for the package!  There was a lot of stuff in there.  I don't even know what to do with the potatoes.  I would mash them, but we don't have anything to mash them with.  Maybe bake them.  Or hash them.  I have so much food it is ridonkulous.  I got some pre-grilled chicken at the store and I'll try it with the Alfredo recipe.  I don't trust myself cooking meat.  I got some ground beef.  When I cook it with onions and garlic, at what point do I put the beef in, after the onions before the garlic, or after the garlic?  Same time?  I bought some Cool Whip and Nutella so I can make PBJs with bananas and that stuff too (Elder Swanson wants me to grill it like a grilled cheese).  Nutrition at its finest.  Also, can you send me the directions on how to cook the chow mein?  I honestly have no clue, and I want to do it right.  I just made some rice and pasta for this coming week.  I'll decide what sauces I want then.  Don't send anymore food until next transfer because I'll probably be leaving and I can't take it all with me. 
Thanks for the PJs.  They aren't food, but they are totally like baller shorts.  Also, back to food.  Can you (dad) send me the recipe to make the seasoned rice for b-fast burritoes?  I have eggs and hash browns but I'm still stupid at this stuff.  I'm glad my companion is picky, because he won't eat any of my food.  You should see our pantry.  Bottom shelf is all cereal, pop tarts, top ramen, spagetti Os and peanut butter etc...   My shelves are like pastas, chinese random stuff, sour dough, bananas, strawberry snowballs, etc...  I like food. 
Tell Ricey I'm glad I'm still popular among the band geeks.  I worked hard to become so well known amongst such a distinguished class of people. 
HI REMY!  Tell Bruno not to get too fat while I'm gone.
Love Elder Wright